I have just begun to realize my awesome demigodlike responsibility. To provide the best damn sponsor billboards we can for a struggling nation. To ensure that the prosperity generated by NBC's Olympic coverage trickles down to every person in America. Now, this soldier has a mission. This mission begins a new tradition. We're not going to shave from the time we get there until the time we come home. This ensures I will look like Ted Kaczynski upon my return to the states. And I will probably feel like Ted Kaczynski as well. Now we can provide facial hair photographic evidence of our captivity. I vow to consume as many pork products and eggs as possible in the commissary as my way of evening the score with the imperialist pigs. "If your cause is a sacred one to trickle down, then you must pursue it with all your might." Ted Kaczynski.( I made that last part up.)