I've been fascinated to speak with my colleagues and learn what they do in real life. I hope to pass along some of these stories in the near future. As this is my fourth Olympics, I've gotten to know lots of these people very well. It's like a family reunion. But when the Olympics are over, what do we each return to? I'll try to find out as an investigative reporter in the near future. It's easier to spot the people who work in NBC. They're the ones with the most fear. Because they have the most to lose.
We freelancers just don't care, and care even less when we're deprived of sleep.
We're recruited almost like special ops soldiers. We parachute into enemy territory and get the job done. Which is why they ask us back. It's important to know they can depend on us to do this under pressure. Which requires a group of dependable misfits.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Continuing Coverage promo...stat!
Today was an absolute killer. Endless revisions, no break. Felt like part of a triage unit in the middle of a disaster. I am worn and so is my voice.
When I saw this, it made my day...http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/07/a-message-from-nbc-about-its-olympics-coverage.html
When I saw this, it made my day...http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/07/a-message-from-nbc-about-its-olympics-coverage.html
Monday, July 30, 2012
SFX
Not to burst anyone's bubble, but I heard speculation that the helicopter stunt in the Opening Ceremony was not as it appeared. The Queen really jumped but Daniel Craig was a body double. Sorry to disappoint.
HR violation
Mary Carillo. NBC host and a real sweetheart. Technically she shouldn't have her hand on me but I forgive her . 
The kids luck out
Amy and Mary made it to swimming tonight thanks to NBC. They saw some medals won and I will make it their homework assignment to write a report for you tomorrow. Or risk detention.
My biggest fans
Amy and Mary are here!
So glad to see them.
They even ran into Shawn White at breakfast.
Unfortunately, we're out of towels.
So glad to see them.
They even ran into Shawn White at breakfast.
Unfortunately, we're out of towels.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Home sweet home
Another marathon day of weekend coverage. How many hours is NBC carrying today?
More than 24, I think.
Why oh why didn't I book a vacation right after this assignment? Well, my regular duties will feel like a vacation anyway.
Time for dinner in the commissary. Just avoid the steam table leftover burgers at 11:30 pm. An ill-advised act of culinary desperation I will not repeat.
Everyone is craving the opportunity to lay on our own couches for as long as we want. And to eat without plastic tableware.
More than 24, I think.
Why oh why didn't I book a vacation right after this assignment? Well, my regular duties will feel like a vacation anyway.
Time for dinner in the commissary. Just avoid the steam table leftover burgers at 11:30 pm. An ill-advised act of culinary desperation I will not repeat.
Everyone is craving the opportunity to lay on our own couches for as long as we want. And to eat without plastic tableware.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Life in the fringe of the spotlight
Hey, today wasn't quite so bad. As long as it wasn't as bad as yesterday, I can live with it.
Bob Costas evened the score tonight when he threw me out of the booth. Bursting in during the middle of the read and saying:"Okay now it's my turn! Get out!" ( He did it in a funny way.)Told Costas Penn Jillette's Willie Nelson joke. He loved it.
Not to name drop, but I was talking to Ryan Seacrest tonight.
I'm taller than him.
He asked me to announce something for him. I said sure, give me 200.00.
Cheap Bastard.
Bob Costas evened the score tonight when he threw me out of the booth. Bursting in during the middle of the read and saying:"Okay now it's my turn! Get out!" ( He did it in a funny way.)Told Costas Penn Jillette's Willie Nelson joke. He loved it.
Not to name drop, but I was talking to Ryan Seacrest tonight.
I'm taller than him.
He asked me to announce something for him. I said sure, give me 200.00.
Cheap Bastard.
The Nooz
The overnight ratings came in...The numbers were even better than the opening ceremony in Beijing! If this continues, the pressure should be lessened on us.Keep watching in droves. Even if you don't watch, leave the TV on NBC 24 hours a day.
Beardless
Our great Olympic beard growing experiment is sputtering to a halt.
This is due to an obvious lack of testosterone among some males in Control C. Mostly the writers. (No names.)
I could probably kick the asses of half the guys around here. That's a better average than most places I inhabit. The other 50% would certainly have me doing their laundry in prison.
Sure is entertaining observing the frayed nerves as hopelessness and sleeplessness intersect.
This is due to an obvious lack of testosterone among some males in Control C. Mostly the writers. (No names.)
I could probably kick the asses of half the guys around here. That's a better average than most places I inhabit. The other 50% would certainly have me doing their laundry in prison.
Sure is entertaining observing the frayed nerves as hopelessness and sleeplessness intersect.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Tote that barge
Damn.
I forgot how hard this is. It was a long, long day. But I survived. It really hit the fan today. The good thing about a really terrible day like today is that maybe tomorrow will just be a terrible day. Time to snatch a Stella Artois from the servabar and crash until they send the police for me. I hope I can buy a little extra sleep by piling up my furniture against the door of my room. First day of competition tomorrow. I hope my witty side resurfaces in the morning. Good night America.
I forgot how hard this is. It was a long, long day. But I survived. It really hit the fan today. The good thing about a really terrible day like today is that maybe tomorrow will just be a terrible day. Time to snatch a Stella Artois from the servabar and crash until they send the police for me. I hope I can buy a little extra sleep by piling up my furniture against the door of my room. First day of competition tomorrow. I hope my witty side resurfaces in the morning. Good night America.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Another spoiler alert
It's 10:15 PM in London as we await our first set of billboards to be recorded for tomorrow nights opening ceremony.
We were standing outside by the stadium and heard part of the rehearsal. You can count on hearing Hey Jude tomorrow night. If you can get a bet down do it now. This is a lock.
I hope I can stay awake long enough to read these things so I can go back to the hotel and collapse.
We were standing outside by the stadium and heard part of the rehearsal. You can count on hearing Hey Jude tomorrow night. If you can get a bet down do it now. This is a lock.
I hope I can stay awake long enough to read these things so I can go back to the hotel and collapse.
Yawn....
Opening ceremony just a day away...
We are now into our first 12 hour day. The first of how many? Don't ask.
I'm really sick of these people. (Don't tell them.)
I'm even sick of these Korean broadcasters, and I haven't even met them.
We are now into our first 12 hour day. The first of how many? Don't ask.
I'm really sick of these people. (Don't tell them.)
I'm even sick of these Korean broadcasters, and I haven't even met them.
I'd like to thank....
Today I got to hold a London Olympic gold medal. I was cautioned not to bite it because it's only plated with a thin layer of gold.
Gold medals haven't been solid gold since 1912.
Next we'll learn that Chee-tos don't contain actual cheese.
Gold medals haven't been solid gold since 1912.
Next we'll learn that Chee-tos don't contain actual cheese.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
As Bouton would say..."throw low smoke."
I was talking with a camera crew.These guys are really out in the trenches every day, as opposed to us brainiacs here at HQ. I asked how they manage their schedule. One guy said to me, "we get back to the hotel at 10. And the pubs close at 11. So right away, you go to the first pub and pound 2 pints. Then you get to the next pub just before closing time." These guys are masters at adaptation. You've gotta hand it to them.
Put the screws to 'em
NBC has been really mobbed the past few days. The full crew was at the IBC prior to shipping out to their various venues. As opposed to us, who have no chance at parole. Tomorrow it should be a lot quieter. There's also talk of possible work stoppages in London to coincide with the beginning of the games. I've heard about cabbies and immigration inspectors. The people who check your passport on arrival at the airport. We'll just have to stay tuned on that one.
Hey girls, you may want to pack a sh*t load of protein bars. And some sleeping bags. And shoes you could walk 40 miles in.
See You Soon,
Groucho
Hey girls, you may want to pack a sh*t load of protein bars. And some sleeping bags. And shoes you could walk 40 miles in.
See You Soon,
Groucho
For Old Time's Sake
My traditional pose with Paul Pawlowski.
I appear to be gaining on him if you compare this to my Vancouver post.
I appear to be gaining on him if you compare this to my Vancouver post.
First class wheels
80 degrees!
Tan time on an NBC VIP golf cart.
Want to drive it?
Note helpful hint.
Tan time on an NBC VIP golf cart.
Want to drive it?
Note helpful hint.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Watch that first step, it's a doozy!
The day is coming.
You feel it beneath your feet like a distant freight train. And even above the aroma of meatloaf and mashed potatoes in the chow line, you catch a whiff of it.
Fear.
The day is coming which we all dread. Soon it will be Groundhog Day. Again.
I got you babe.
You feel it beneath your feet like a distant freight train. And even above the aroma of meatloaf and mashed potatoes in the chow line, you catch a whiff of it.
Fear.
The day is coming which we all dread. Soon it will be Groundhog Day. Again.
I got you babe.
Only an exhibition...please, no wagering
God bless the Brits . Here you can bet on almost anything. There is an opportunity to wager on whether Boris Johnson, the mayor of London, will set fire to his hair with the Olympic torch during the opening ceremony. If you're interested in putting some money down the odds are currently 100 to 1. They had been 66 to 1 but he got a haircut. I'm not making this up.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Misery loves company
Ran into Jimmy Roberts, an actual on camera talent. I was surprised to learn he was staying 2 doors down from me and enjoys a similarly crappy third floor view.
I would have thought he would be in the Ivory tower with Costas and Ryan Seacrest being served by nubile handmaidens (or hand persons of indeterminate gender)
Kinda thought I was bunking with the janitorial staff.
Not as fancy as Beijing, where they left fresh flowers in the toilet. Oh no, maybe that wasn't the toilet.
I would have thought he would be in the Ivory tower with Costas and Ryan Seacrest being served by nubile handmaidens (or hand persons of indeterminate gender)
Kinda thought I was bunking with the janitorial staff.
Not as fancy as Beijing, where they left fresh flowers in the toilet. Oh no, maybe that wasn't the toilet.
Spoiler Alert
I learn many secrets thanks to my job.
Here's one:
Aerial coverage provided by
Goodyear.
Here's one:
Aerial coverage provided by
Goodyear.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Feel the Love
Why do so many from all over the country and around the world choose to work for NBC time after time at the Olympics?
Most people I've spoken with here have had the same kind of answers. It's an honor to be asked. It is certainly a unique experience. And after you've done it a few times, it's a chance to hang out with old friends. Plus, the economy sucks.
As for my own experience, there is pride in being part of this family. I never went to summer camp, and I've never been in the military, but this is as close as I will probably ever come. I hope. At least as far as the military goes.
But anyway, observe the obvious bond between me and...some of my co-workers.
Most people I've spoken with here have had the same kind of answers. It's an honor to be asked. It is certainly a unique experience. And after you've done it a few times, it's a chance to hang out with old friends. Plus, the economy sucks.
As for my own experience, there is pride in being part of this family. I never went to summer camp, and I've never been in the military, but this is as close as I will probably ever come. I hope. At least as far as the military goes.
But anyway, observe the obvious bond between me and...some of my co-workers.
It's all about chow time.
I recognize there has been an inordinate amount of talk about food in this blog. But you know the old saying "an army travels on it's stomach". the anxiety among all of us must burn untold calories. I trust my body in its infinite wisdom to guide me towards one quarter pound of bacon and three eggs every morning. It knows best.
I must admit, the commissary food is pretty good. They have the salad bar, different entrées, plus Pret, Pain Quotidien, and Starbucks. Rumor has it a Bloomingdale's is scheduled to open soon.
Funniest line of the day came in the commissary from Sue Bennett.
I watched her pick up three different pears from the fruit bowl and examine them carefully before finally selecting another and then walking away with it. I asked her what made her choose that particular pear. She said "you pick up three and then take the next one."
Now that's wisdom.
I'm not going to talk about food anymore, but I had a really good Indian curry with prawns for dinner.
I must admit, the commissary food is pretty good. They have the salad bar, different entrées, plus Pret, Pain Quotidien, and Starbucks. Rumor has it a Bloomingdale's is scheduled to open soon.
Funniest line of the day came in the commissary from Sue Bennett.
I watched her pick up three different pears from the fruit bowl and examine them carefully before finally selecting another and then walking away with it. I asked her what made her choose that particular pear. She said "you pick up three and then take the next one."
Now that's wisdom.
I'm not going to talk about food anymore, but I had a really good Indian curry with prawns for dinner.
Da Quay
Got to sleep in, then had an 11am breakfast with eggs, sausages, and a bagel. Read the Sunday papers followed by a 9km run. Some people have a chauffeured limo to get to work. I had a private double decker bus.
And I only worked 4 hours today.
Like cool summer weather in NYC,this can't last.
Here are views of my new neighborhood, the West India Quay.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Those wacky Brits
As I will reside in this hotel room for a month, I have begun to get acquainted with it. First of all, the lights go on when you put the switch in the down position. You know they only do this to screw with us. Just like driving on the wrong side of the road, warm beer, Lucas electrical systems and Benny Hill. When you turn on the bathroom lights, a heater comes on behind the mirror to keep it from fogging. Good idea. But if you leave the bathroom lights on for, say, two hours, the heater stays on and the mirror reaches 200 degrees.
I was almost ready to call the fire department, but luckily I figured it out.
While we're at it, what the hell do you plug into this? The Batmobile?
I was almost ready to call the fire department, but luckily I figured it out.
While we're at it, what the hell do you plug into this? The Batmobile?
Today's contest
Okay America, it's time to vote!
Where would you rather stay?
In the hotel room where Gary Rotta enjoys this view?
Or my room featuring this view?
Call or text your vote now!
And don't miss our results show tomorrow.
Where would you rather stay?
In the hotel room where Gary Rotta enjoys this view?
Friday, July 20, 2012
We're all bozos on this bus
First the good news. Today I only had to work for six hours. And of that six hours approximately 5 hours and 15 minutes were spent hanging out, chowing down on Pret A Manger food in the commissary and drinking a few free Starbucks.
The bad news:
When I arrived at the commissary at 7PM for dinner there were no people there. And even worse, there was no food. It turns out that because the full complement of NBC employees have not yet arrived no dinner will be served. Shrewd of them, to pull this before there were enough of us onhand to mount a full armed insurrection.
I am also beginning to fear that my steaming giant bag of swag known as the on camera talent wardrobe shall be denied me. They finally got wise. I will just have to comfort myself with my 35 assorted pastel Beijing golf shirts.
The score so far: Bean counters 2, Bill 0. Stay tuned for the second half of the first quarter after this word from JP Morgan Chase.
I have been avoiding Bob Costas since he got thrown out of the booth for me yesterday. Don't want him to stuff me in my locker. Again. I hear Bill Lacey has actual audio evidence.
The bad news:
When I arrived at the commissary at 7PM for dinner there were no people there. And even worse, there was no food. It turns out that because the full complement of NBC employees have not yet arrived no dinner will be served. Shrewd of them, to pull this before there were enough of us onhand to mount a full armed insurrection.
I am also beginning to fear that my steaming giant bag of swag known as the on camera talent wardrobe shall be denied me. They finally got wise. I will just have to comfort myself with my 35 assorted pastel Beijing golf shirts.
The score so far: Bean counters 2, Bill 0. Stay tuned for the second half of the first quarter after this word from JP Morgan Chase.
I have been avoiding Bob Costas since he got thrown out of the booth for me yesterday. Don't want him to stuff me in my locker. Again. I hear Bill Lacey has actual audio evidence.
Evicted
Here's the guy who got bounced from announce booth 1 so I could read a Showtime promo where I mispronounced the boxer's name on the 3 previous takes.
Now you know who really rates around here.
ZZZZ
I greet the dawn at 12 noon after sleeping 14 hours. And have a ham and cheese sandwich for breakfast. It's my first real day of work at the international broadcast center. Just the beginning of many 12 hour mindnumbing days. It's been great to see so many familiar faces and to be greeted warmly by colleagues who apparently have forgotten what a yammering pain in the ass I am. With each Olympics the facility appears to shrink by about 20%. So we've working in closer and closer quarters. Which should produce an increase in fistfights over Vancouver and Beijing. But don't fear for me, I can be found cowering under a desk. Even when there's no fighting going on.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Greetings,colonists
I have made it.
For once in my life I get to sleep in a flatbed on a plane and they wake me up at 3 o'clock in the morning New York time!
So now I'm jetlagged but have to go work for Showtime at 2 PM. Which is really 9 AM in New York. The hotel seems okay but features tepid English air conditioning. On the positive side, it has a nice deep bathtub in the English tradition. Well, I'm off to the IBC for a couple of hours. Look forward to a long sleep tonight. Well, cheers!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
The Last Supper
Well, I'm off to my fourth pre- Olympics high cholesterol food fest. This time it's being held at Hill Country Barbecue on lower Fifth Avenue. I will be in communion with a few cronies who will also ship out tomorrow. It will prepare my coronary arteries for the onslaught to come.
Tomorrow I depart on a hellish journey featuring a gourmet meal and a lie flat bed on a 777 enroute to a minimum security prison.
Now I understand the pain Bernie Madoff must feel.
Now I understand the pain Bernie Madoff must feel.
The Nabe
The first photo depicts my neighbors watching my plane depart.
Caption was wrong.
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/07/12/manhattanhenge-bathes-new-york-city-streets-at-sunset/#new-york-sees-manhattanhenge
Caption was wrong.
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/07/12/manhattanhenge-bathes-new-york-city-streets-at-sunset/#new-york-sees-manhattanhenge
New Route to India Pt. 1
They say the longest journey begins with a ride to the Amtrak station in Old Saybrook. Here Wilbur and I synchronize our watches because we saw it in a movie once. Behind me is the ton of crap I will be carting to the Games. When I return it will have the aroma of 100 lbs. of sweat socks because that's what is in the bag. I'll never need to buy another pair.
Monday, July 16, 2012
It should get easier after they light the torch
Good link to BBC parody video...scroll down after you open link below
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/9403023/London-2012-Olympics-American-and-Australian-team-buses-get-lost-from-Heathrow-to-Olympic-Park.html
Cram time
I actually have to finish packing. Today. There aren't enough clean socks in the world to get me through this. Luckily I'll be supplied with a hideous wardrobe of on camera gear. Check out the link above, I think it's a preview of the chaos to come. Well, got to go so far I've only found three socks.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Needle in a Haystack
Just learned I will be part of a group of 2800 credentialed NBC workers at the London Olympics. Which makes it highly unlikely that I will be apprehended and prosecuted for what I say on this blog.
If I'm taken into custody I will insist I was only doing my job as a neighborhood watch volunteer. And thanks in advance. I know I will be able to count upon your contributions so that I can make bail.
If I'm taken into custody I will insist I was only doing my job as a neighborhood watch volunteer. And thanks in advance. I know I will be able to count upon your contributions so that I can make bail.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Only Kidding
As I read over these posts it occurs to be that I could be taken into custody before we even leave for London. I will try to temper this with less vitriol. Wish me luck. I must admit that after our Beijing assignment the Western feel of London will seem something of a letdown. After all, there are no grilled scorpions for sale on the streets of London And no poorly translated signs. On the other hand, no one will be listening to our cell phones and checking our e-mails (as far as we know.)
I have just begun to realize my awesome demigodlike responsibility. To provide the best damn sponsor billboards we can for a struggling nation. To ensure that the prosperity generated by NBC's Olympic coverage trickles down to every person in America. Now, this soldier has a mission. This mission begins a new tradition. We're not going to shave from the time we get there until the time we come home. This ensures I will look like Ted Kaczynski upon my return to the states. And I will probably feel like Ted Kaczynski as well. Now we can provide facial hair photographic evidence of our captivity. I vow to consume as many pork products and eggs as possible in the commissary as my way of evening the score with the imperialist pigs. "If your cause is a sacred one to trickle down, then you must pursue it with all your might." Ted Kaczynski.( I made that last part up.)
The fuse is lit, baby
Only a week until my departure for the big show.
My Olympic credentials have been delivered. But no travel documents yet. God bless you Comcast. I've been with NBC for over 30 years and I've learned that each successive management team is a bigger bunch of pinheads than the last. Darwin was wrong.
Prepare yourself for 3+ weeks of my relentless whining. Especially if I actually get there. Mind you, as I write this I'm in my optimistic pre-Olympic mood. Wait until I'm exhausted and fed up. Which should take all of three days.
Keep the faith America, everything is going to be great.
Yours truly,
The Dalai Lama
(note observant follower at right)
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